15
Sep
2009
Things to Say to Get Out of Jury Duty Summons:
I have jury duty here in Monroe next week. So, I’m preparing myself in case I need to use one of these Dave Letterman’s past Top 10 zingers:
- I can tell if people are guilty by looking at them.
- If a police officer told me I was a bug, I would believe him.
- Is it murder if I haven’t been caught?
- My religion prohibits me from sitting near other people.
- Would I have to bathe?
- Can each of my personalities vote in deliberations?
- Laws are for sissies.
- I’m allergic to justice.
- I’m deaf. (Answer questions thereafter by cupping hand and shouting “What?”)
- A pit bull named [defendant's first name] just killed my baby.
- I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence.
- An eye for an eye? I say we take his head for an eye! (Point at defendant).
Well, I wouldn’t use all of them, but there are a few.
yea buddy