Jarrod Richey » funny http://jarrodrichey.com The online portal of Jarrod Richey in Monroe, Louisiana Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:00:28 +0000 en hourly 1 Things to Say to Get Out of Jury Duty Summons: http://jarrodrichey.com/2009/09/things-to-say-to-get-out-of-jury-duty-summons/ http://jarrodrichey.com/2009/09/things-to-say-to-get-out-of-jury-duty-summons/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:19:00 +0000 Jarrod http://jarrodrichey.com/2009/09/things-to-say-to-get-out-of-jury-duty-summons/ I have jury duty here in Monroe next week. So, I’m preparing myself in case I need to use one of these Dave Letterman’s past Top 10 zingers:
  • I can tell if people are guilty by looking at them.
  • If a police officer told me I was a bug, I would believe him.
  • Is it murder if I haven’t been caught?
  • My religion prohibits me from sitting near other people.
  • Would I have to bathe?
  • Can each of my personalities vote in deliberations?
  • Laws are for sissies.
  • I’m allergic to justice.
  • I’m deaf. (Answer questions thereafter by cupping hand and shouting “What?”)
  • A pit bull named [defendant's first name] just killed my baby.
  • I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence.
  • An eye for an eye? I say we take his head for an eye! (Point at defendant).

Well, I wouldn’t use all of them, but there are a few.

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